Leaving the Hustle Behind: My Path to Purpose and Fulfillment

During my coaching practice, I often meet people who define themselves by their roles in life. Daughter, friend, employee, parent, and spouse are all important roles, but they are not the entirety of who we are. For most of us, so much of our time, especially our younger years, are spent on self-discovery, but we can still find ourselves struggling to understand what we really want from life. It is essential to take a step back and reflect on whether we are living our best lives.

Like many of you, I used to define myself by the roles I played in life.

I spent a decade in sales, driven by my competitiveness and achieving sales quotas to be the “Best of the Best, when it came to my career.  Looking back, I realize that I wasn't experiencing life, and I was merely living to achieve my goals and as I met them the goal posts kept moving along and so did I, with little or no thought as to if this is what I really wanted for my life. 

It was years later that I discovered I was living from my head and not my heart. Don’t get me wrong, in no way, shape or form do I regret those years, in fact, it was a privilege to have had them and to have had that path to walk on. You see, it has brought me to where I am today and to the person that I am, those achievements in a way define me, they were simply stepping stones to bring me to where I am today. 

In my late teens I left Trinidad where although a single child, I was always surrounded by extended family and was extremely close to my grandparents who I still miss so much. Family is and always has been important to me.  My move to New York to pursue a degree in Business quickly followed by my family migration to Canada. It was three years later before I returned to my Caribbean roots.

At that point, I wasn’t unhappy in my life.

I was “moving forward” in my career working for one of the top marketing and research  companies in North America and with a recent promotion, I was sent to the United States for training. However, the islands kept calling me back and a few months after my promotion, I resigned and moved to the tiny island of Tobago where I began my career in hospitality. This then, became the thing I was most passionate about. 

Hospitality was where I found my professional calling.

Looking back, I know it was because it led me to connect with people of different backgrounds and nationalities, and to discover so much about them. My natural curiosity helped with that. 

It was the path that drove me for the next 25 years even after returning to Canada and continuing my career in hospitality. I was among the most driven and competitive members on the team and my New Year’s resolutions consisted of ensuring my numbers were always well above the company’s goals. I loved my job and dedicated most of my life to it. In retrospect, I acknowledge how my ambition and drive led me to accomplish many things, however I was simply existing day-to-day and was not “living” in the true sense of the word. I spent most of my time in this space, until I moved again to the Caribbean, this time, to the Turks & Caicos Islands.

I firmly believe that every path we are on is meant to teach us something and in reflecting, I do not regret that time I spent being in my career mindset, as I would not be the person I am today if I had not had those experiences.

It was while in the Turks & Caicos (and later in Jamaica), living a considerably slower pace of life, that I began to explore and embrace spirituality through yoga and meditation.

When I became a mother, this further significantly impacted how I viewed the world. I wanted to be the best version of myself, to elevate all aspects of representing who I was, for my daughter, my husband, my extended family – my beloved mother and grandparents, but also for me. This included having a healthy lifestyle, exercising, practicing yoga, and meditation. Meditation for me, however, was where I struggled. I would meditate, but my practice was not consistent, leaving me to feel like I would never "get it." I "shut down" emotionally. I remember simply “functioning” and unable to express any emotion, particularly vulnerability.  

Then I found my meditation practice again…

I started meditating daily and the change began to happen slowly at first. Initially the tears came and then  I began to respond to life rather than react to it, and for the first time.  I began to experience life in a heartfelt way – recognising that true fulfillment comes from living with intention and making choices that align with our innermost values and goals. It's about finding joy in the present moment and creating a life that brings us meaning and purpose.

I fully embrace spirituality. I believe that we are each here for a divine purpose, each with a unique role to play in this life. We are each here to share a gift that is as distinctive as we are. For me, my biggest regret would be not having lived the life that I was meant to live and not sharing the gifts that I was given.

So, what makes me unique? I was brought up in a very Catholic-based family, and although I went to a Catholic girls' school, we celebrated all faiths. I am very curious about different religions, faiths, and practices. I love to listen to people … not just hear them, but listen with curiosity, and I enjoy intuitive listening. This has allowed a deeper authentic connection with those with whom I interact and develop an instinctive heart-centered approach to providing help and guidance through my teachings. 

I love to travel and embrace travel as an extension of one’s spiritual journey. Not just to discover new places, but to immerse myself in a place, allowing me to discover something new and connect - with myself, the world, and a higher power. I have therefore embraced my  travels as the prospect for further self-discovery, growth, a source of a deeper sense of purpose and meaning through an elevated understanding of diverse cultures and people.

Personal challenges are often seen as make or break moments.

I have faced many in my life and while I may not have embraced them then, I am now able to recognise their impact and those ‘in the moment’ lessons. From being a caretaker to my grandparents in their last moments, and helping my mom through breast cancer, these experiences have taught me a lot about not only death, but more importantly, about living. My own journey of discovery has helped me view and embrace my life in a different way, and I now know that when we leave this earth, it's important to leave something good behind.

This has led me to start Nicole De Souza, Living Authentically, and my mission is to empower women, like me and you, to take charge of their lives, live beyond merely existing, improve relationships, achieve clarity, balance, purpose and live intentionally as their true selves. Through one-on-one coaching, I feel so lucky to have helped women discover their sense of self-worth and purpose and embrace living their best lives both personally and professionally.